How to be a Good Sports Mom
Do you want to build the foundation for a sports champion? It starts within the household. If you want to be a good sports mom, the old saying rings true: Action speaks louder than words.
Before we discuss what actions a mom can take to create a positive sports environment for her children, let’s clarify first about what it means to be a good sports mom.
First of all, when I say “sports mom,” I mean someone who has a child that plays sports. A good sports mom is supportive of everyone involved in her child’s sport. This means you are supportive not only to your child, but also to the peers, coaching staff, judges, and officials.
Now, let’s go to different ways that can make you a good sports mom:
A good sports mom gets involved.
If you want your child athlete to participate in sports, the best thing you can do is to get active. While you might feel that you have to sacrifice your physical activity to raise active children, the opposite is true.
When you are active, your children’s motivation to be active also increases. Your health and fitness is the catalyst for your children. If you are a sedentary mom, you are more likely to have a sedentary child.
So, the first step in being a good sports parent is living an active lifestyle for yourself. This is one of the many ways to spend time with your child.
Fun activities for you and your child don’t have to be complicated. It is as simple as playing with your child and kicking the ball around the yard. The most important here is that both you and your child exercise and share quality time together.
I work from home, which is both a blessing and also sometimes a challenge. Whereas moms who work outside the home can compartmentalize their time at work from their time with the family, moms who work from home have to figure out how to fit it all in. Sometimes it feels like a big mess, and other times it runs like a well oiled machine. My most successful days, however, begin and end with a schedule. Not a rigid schedule, but a solid framework that allows me to address everything in order. Because I place an importance on staying fit, I make sure to get at least a 20-40 minute workout in 5 days a week. When the sun is shining, I do it outside while my kids play around me. When it’s hot, they shoot me with waterguns. No spraying mama’s hair or face is the only rule! They have a blast an I get refreshed!
But there are some days that are more stressful than others. Unfortunately, on those days, both I and my children get far too much screen time. I greatly prefer the smooth sailing work/play days, and so do they.
Encourage various activities for your child.
Pushing your child for a sport you enjoyed when you were little could backfire if your child is not yet ready. As a mom, don’t register your child yet into sports until he or she shows interest.
If you watch closely, your child will show you how to be a good sports mom by how they engage in active play. As your child engages in different activities, they gravitate towards specific movements. For example, if your child shows interest in climbing, he is likely to enjoy gymnastics than playing soccer.
If your child shows interest in a variety of sports, make sure you involve him in deciding which sport he likes to sign up. When you allow him to choose what he wants, he feels a sense of control. This way, he can adapt to the new experience.
A good sports mom separates identity from the sport.
Every mom wants the best for her child, so it can be easy to get caught up in the excitement of sports. A competitive mom may even feel a rush of adrenaline when your child performs well.
For most moms, watching their children playing gives them the first glance of their child’s independence. So, it’s normal if you get a little emotional.
However, when your emotional rush subsides, remember that your child’s sports performance is not a reflection of your parenting.
If your child struggles with sports, it doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. As a mom, don’t take your child’s sports performance personally. It’s not about you! There is another side to your child’s genetics and upbringing… so you can always blame dad (haha, I’m joking!).
A good sports mom makes sure that her identity remains separate from their child’s sports performance. Your child needs to know that their self-worth doesn’t equate to sports. You can do this by reminding him about the importance of family, friends, and community to realign his perspective.
A good sports mom helps coaches.
If your child likes hearing your advice, make sure you ask them about the advice their coach is giving them. This is to ensure that your advice doesn’t go against what their coach is saying. If it does, your child may end up confused and stressed out.
Keeping sports fun is easy when children focus on the moment.
Being a good sports mom is all about looking in the mirror and holding yourself accountable. Be cautious when giving advice, and always consider what is best for your child.
In most cases, it’s better to encourage your child to follow their coach’s advice. Though your advice or experience is worth hearing, minimizing your child’s stress can help maximize his fun. Your child’s enjoyment is always the number one priority.
Lastly, if you tell your child that coach knows best, ensure that your action also supports that. This means you should be a positive and supportive observer. If you yell the advice that contracts your coach advice, you will only end up creating a bad sports environment for your child.
A child learns self-control when a sports mom displays self-control.
The way you behave when you watch your child is important. As I mentioned, you don’t want your actions and words to create unnecessary stress for your child. As a mom, your positive behavior in and out of the sport instills positive habits in them.
Your child learns self-control when you display self-control. When you cheer for everyone, your child is likely to cheer for everyone too.
When you display self-control in the stands and after the competition, your child learns self-control. And when you cheer for everyone, your child is more likely to cheer for everyone too.
A competitive mom and sports don’t usually mix well. Even if you’re supporting your child, some moms create a harsh sports environment. Loud and competitive sports moms can put a damper on child’s sports.
I didn’t say you can’t be loud, mind you; I know I surprise myself at how loudly I’m yelling when in the heat of the moment. Just keep it positive! Make an honest effort to cheer on your child’s teammates and allow yourself to compliment the competition.
When you respond to a performance honestly, other moms may be reminded that the way they react transcend team winnings. Positive sports parenting actions like these can bend negative emotions stirred up during the competition.
Don’t forget the coaches, volunteers, and judges who spend time and put in the effort to make sports available to your child and their peers.
Not everyone gets the opportunity to experience a sports league, so always show gratitude to everyone involved to help create a positive sports environment.
If it is hard for you to cheer or compliment the other team, focus on the sport. Just clap and say “good game, good game,” and keep it moving. When emotions run high, it may take a while to cool down, but it doesn’t mean you cannot reframe the situation.
Good Sports Parenting Needs Practice
Just like sports, being a good sports mom requires practice. The impact you have on your child athlete sporting experience is all about consistency over time.
The more often you engage and practice positive sports parenting, the higher your impact will be on their sports experience. One way to do this is to cheer for your child’s teammates. The other way is to accept losses and see the edge, even if it pains your child.
The best part is that if you try your best to be a good sports mom today, tomorrow guarantees another opportunity.