How to prepare for life after divorce?
Preparing for life after divorce is not easy. But you must prepare yourself for the unexpected which includes your ex dating, bringing significant others around your children, spending money that you are required to pay irresponsibly, and additionally not having the control or influence you once had.
You must prepare yourself for this. Lastly, you must find ways to redirect your energy in positive ways by finding a hobby or dedicating yourself to your basketball and local community efforts.
I would like to say I am not a proponent of divorce, nor do I benefit in any way from athletes or non-athletes initiating or finalizing the divorce. I am an advocate for families staying together with a remaining faithful, healthy, balanced, caring, and raising highly capable children. Additionally, I believe that women and men were uniquely created to complement each other, undergird, support, and help each other. The marriage unit is a divinely created relationship that can illustrate our ability to love deeply and serve one another.
With that being said, if you foresee yourself in divorce proceedings and or dealing with the surprise of court-ordered divorce initiation, we would like to give you some resources to help you.
Divorce is something that has become a popular choice for many Americans. So much so that the divorce rate is moving beyond 50%. For athletes, the numbers are even higher, estimating somewhere in the 60 – 80% range.
4 Ways to bounce back after divorce
1. Don’t separate from family and friends. Stay in contact with people that love and care for you. It’s easy to isolate ourselves and become addicted to your thoughts.
2. Don’t meditate on divorce proceedings; doing so will never allow you to move forward. Reminding yourself of this experience will only bring up mistakes, negative words said, and all the bad things that happened.
3. Keep yourself occupied with positive actions, find a habit, learn something new and exciting. Develop passions centered on health, art, and fitness. Start traveling, or, if possible, take an opportunity overseas. Thee is nothing better than realizing how different life is outside of our country of origin.
4. Reach out to people with wisdom that can support you, laugh with you, and lift you.
What is the divorce rate for professional athletes?
Divorce is something that has become a popular choice for many Americans. So much so that the divorce rate is moving beyond 50%. For athletes, the numbers are even higher, estimating somewhere in the 60 -60% range. Additionally, professional athlete Union data suggests that divorce and not bad financial planning is the reason many athletes have money problems after their playing days are over.
How do you bounce back financially after a divorce?
What is the best way to handle my money after divorce?
- Work, work and work some more
- Do not do extra for your ex only what is in the order
- Do not pay extra child support only what is in the order. They will use your emotions against you. If you are paying and sending thousands of dollars per month, there is no reason you should be paying extra.
- Stick to your budget
- Make a plan to deal with debt
- Work on improving credit in your name if you don’t have it already.
- Change your tax withholding
- Minimize health insurance this can save thousands (only one person will carry family coverage)
- Look for ways to increase income.
- Set new financial goals like saving and invest
- Minimize expenses – sell cars and look for a place to retire before retirement like beautiful suburbs that are affordable.
How do I divorce my spouse without losing everything?
No, but you will need to consider all aspects of the divorce, which includes the financial, emotional, and impact on the children if you have any. You could risk losing a substantial amount of money if you do not consider all options and develop a sound strategy. This strategy does not include lousy behavior, financial fraud, or threats. You will need to consider all possibilities and speak to not only a lawyer but a very savvy individual that understands the impact of divorce and can be your second set of eyes. Preferably this is someone who does not have a financial association with you but rather a pastor, wise counsel, or someone whom you trust and has the necessary life qualifications to back up your trust.
How do you prepare for divorce financially?
If you are a pro athlete, one of the best ways to prepare for divorce financially is by offering a settlement. For some reason, women are against this and would instead collect a check from you rather than get a large lump sum that they have complete control. This type of mentality is one of the reasons you are probably divorcing, as it is not about fairness, equality, and love. But consequently, it is about control and punishment. They want to have power or some control over you. In all, your negotiations push for a settlement.
In all likelihood, your income will drop as your professional athletic career comes to an end. Even if you are given an opportunity after playing days as a commenter, coach, or player development specialist, your earnings will be substantially less. Bing on the hook for enormous monthly checks will only make things more difficult financially and upset you further.
Let me be more straightforward, I am married, and I would not in this landscape getting married without a prenup as an NBA player. If a woman or man truly loves you, they will not have a problem signing a prenup that slots them a reasonable sum if the marriage was to dissolve.
Again I am not a proponent of divorce; I believe in the sanctity of marriage and family. But many individuals have committed fraud during the dating process only to divorce and take advantage of the laws that subjugate men in court, specifically black men.
What are the emotional stages of a divorce?
10 Possible emotional stages of divorce
- Anger
- Resentment
- Anger
- Sadness
- Second-guessing
- Sadness
- Anger
- Wisdom
- Understanding
- Peace
How long does it take to recover from divorce emotionally?
It is different for everyone. Individuals that continue to fight bicker, and argue over everything, including the pink and blue couch, will have a problematic and harder time getting over it. If you feel like the divorce is your fault again, this may cause you to take on more than you should.
The length of time to get over your divorce can vary. But you can get over your divorce by taking an honest look at yourself, making necessary changes, and loving yourself by taking time to care for your motion, physical, spiritual, and emotional self.
Lastly, I believe God is there for us during cities, so what I do in difficult times is get on my knees and ask God for help, peace, solitude, and wisdom. I ask God to forgive me for my transgressions and for God to give me peace the lasting peace.
Reach out to otherwise individuals that can help you
Does the pain of divorce ever go away? Will I ever be happy after divorce?
Yes, life often brings us mountains so that we can eventually see past those obstacles and truly appreciate the beauty life has to offer.
How do people afford to live alone after divorce?
This is the reality for many after divorce proceedings. After handing thousands of dollars to lawyers, giving your dignity away to the courts and further destroying the marriage relationship. One of both parties now must figure out how to live alone. It might be possible to rent a room from someone for six months to reset and get back on your feet. Sometimes it takes drastic measures for some time to get back on your feet if you can live free with someone for three months that might be all that is needed to save up enough money to get your place and get back on your feet.
Don’t think forever, but rather what can I do in the next three months to save and change my situation. Take small baby steps, and before you know it, you are back on your feet.
Does the pain of divorce ever go away?
Yes, it does…you must have faith. This is not the first obstacle you have faced in your life. If you are reading this, you have overcome many things in your past. So you are your living example of victorious living. Embrace the warrior in you. I believe in you, and I pray that you find peace in some way.
How do you find love after divorce?
You find love by loving yourself, loving yourself by taking time to care for your motion, physical, spiritual, and emotional self. When you do this, others will be attracted to the beauty they see and want to be around it.
Should I keep the house after divorce?
If you have a deep emotional connection to the house, your kids will be living with you, or you currently have family living with you. It might be best to fight for the home and keep. IF the house is to difficult to stay financially and you could use the proceeds to ease the financial hit of divorce, it might be better to sell it.
Look at all aspects of financial, emotional, and family impact.
What can I do to prevent my divorce?
- Prepare to take positive actions that may be uncomfortable.
- Clarify what issues you have with your marriage
- Be clear about what you are willing to do to improve the marriage and also what you are not willing to do. For example, a spouse may have bad habits such as alcoholism, sexual abuse, pornography, anger, and other issues.
- Always attempt to present and look your best to your spouse. Men must present themselves as respectful, appropriate hygiene, good communication, and willing to work. Women should also give there best to their husbands.
- Take actions to correct past hurts and pain
- Believe in yourself, have faith in God even when you may not have confidence in your spouse
- Learn a new relationship together by taking a marriage class or weekend retreat
DRASTIC – If the issues of abuse, alcoholism, pornography, and anger are too severe. There is biblical wisdom that says separation is advisable. Only for the reason of reconciliation. You separate to fix major personal flaws to present yourself as a better person once you resume the relationship. Separation may include sleeping in separate beds and not necessarily living in different houses.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 King James Version (KJV)
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she departs, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
What is a Husband’s Duty to His Wife?
(Biblical perspective otherwise it is just my opinion)
The husband must protect his family, and provide not only money but wisdom, direction, and leadership. Those attributes are even more valuable than money. And lastly, his duty as a husband towards his wife is to give himself up as a living sacrifice.
Here is an Ephesians 5 scripture that explains better, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this, cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
What is a Wife’s Duty to Her Husband?
This is has been very difficult to teach because modern American women reject the word “submit.” But men are the spiritual covering for their family. They are the shield, meaning when a wife places herself within the leadership of her husband, she is provided a spiritual shield and layer of protection that would not be there if she chose to refuse that wise commandment. This is about the spiritual realm rather than who leads, who directs and the aesthetics. The laws in the spiritual world honor women that place themselves within the protective field of her husband’s leadership.
Ephesians 5:22-24 says,
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
God again gives a great responsibility to men because of this responsibility.
Colossians 3:18-19 reiterates this concept. It says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
From these verses, we see that love and respect characterize the roles of both husbands and wives. If these are present, then authority, headship, love, and submission will be no problem for either spouse.